When Companies Care(d)

My grandfather worked for Consumers Power in Michigan for over forty years, beginning in the 20’s as a lineman and ending up in management. When he passed away in 1971, that utility company did something practically unheard of today. They contacted my grandmother, who’d been a homemaker throughout their marriage, and offered her a job. She ended up working her way up to a management position and retired after fifteen years. I’m sure this action was initiated by one of the senior managers but it was the company that we felt gratitude for. To this day, whenever I think about that company, I recall it being family oriented and actually caring about their employees and their families.

In today’s results driven workplace the perception is that most companies care more about their bottom line than their employees. With phrases like “work / life balance”, “flexible scheduling” or “excellent earning potential” being touted, it as though those companies are trying to convince people what a good employer they are. Would they need to use such phrases if they actually had a track record of being a preferred employer? Often times our perception of companies that are family oriented bring to mind small or family owned businesses. However, working for small companies may mean less benefits or a smaller salary.

I believe the attitudes and actions of managers have a greater impact on the perception of employees than any formal company statement. If your direct supervisor demonstrates that they care about you, your perception of the company is a more positive one. Conversely, if your boss is a jerk, it’s tough to feel good about where you are working. In large companies, the managers who are two to three levels above an employee are the face of the company because most workers don’t have interactions with the company executives. There lies the opportunity.

If you supervise others, understand that you influence how your employees perceive the company. Sure, you have deadlines to meet and results to obtain. However, treating others with respect, kindness and genuine interest in their wellbeing will help you produce better results. Think about a time that you lost your temper or behaved badly with your team and what that result was. Could it have been better if you were better? Knowing that those we work with actually care makes a huge difference in our performance.

Only you know what kind of boss you are. You make the decision to care or not care about your team. Just realize that your actions turn into the overall perception of the company. Just like that senior manager at Consumers Power, you can make a difference in the lives of your employees and their families and impact how your company is thought of.

christiebakeman.com

Now an apology to those who were reading my blogs each week and noticed that I haven’t published anything for two months. My husband fell off a ladder while working, resulting in a hip replacement. We aren’t spring chickens anymore so getting him back to normal is going to take months. Between working full time, taking care of him and handling all other aspects of our lives, something had to give and it was my writing. Things have gotten to a new normal for us so I hope you will continue to read my work. Most importantly, I hope my writing makes you think about your own life and beliefs and how to live a happier life.  Christie

Waiting To Be Happy? Really?!?

Have you ever said to your spouse, children or a friend; if you would do “this” I would be happy? Come on, be honest. If you didn’t say it out loud, you’ve thought this at one time or another. Or maybe you have only applied this type of statement to a work environment. When the company does this, I will be happier about working here.

I started thinking about this because I’ve allowed a personal situation to steal my happy recently. I strongly disagree with some decisions a family member is making. When I discussed it with my husband, he said I was being negative about that person. Although I don’t see it that way, I understand his point. The fact is I’ve spent far too much energy thinking about the situation, worrying about the individual and trying how to get them to recognize what they are creating. No matter how much we love someone, we can’t live their life for them and they must deal with the results of their decisions.

A few months ago when my book, It’s Your Life…..Own It! was released, a classmate reached out to me. Bob and I had attended junior high and high school together. We hadn’t spoken in a decade but he wanted me to know he was proud of me. What was interesting is, he told me he wouldn’t be purchasing the book because he was already very happy with his life. Unlike most, he was grateful for all areas of his life. He used the words satisfied and happy multiple times as he described his life.

Yesterday Bob had a heart attack and died. I was shocked and saddened when I read the post on FB. Naturally, I recalled our last conversation and realized Bob was content and happy with the life he lived. Isn’t that the best that we can ask for? To be happy with the life we’ve lived?

My friend’s death gave me a different perspective on my personal situation. The question for me as well as you is; why are you wasting any time on things that cause you distress, anger or worry? Life is meant to be joyful. Why waste time or wait to be happy? Just as I can, I’m sure you can find plenty of people or circumstances in your life to be happy about. I have a file saved on my computer called “Gratitude Journal”. Sometimes I open it up to remind myself of all the wonderful things in my life but today I’m going to add to it, starting with “I have been blessed to have had Bob as a friend, because he was a living example of happiness.”

RIP Bob, I will miss that easy smile and the man behind it.

Who Can You Count On?

When there is a crisis in your life, who do you turn to? Who will be there helping you before you ask? While you are thinking about those questions, let me share a very personal story.

In 2003 I experienced the most challenging circumstance of my life. It was more heart wrenching than the death of my parents or my divorce nine years later. My husband spent sixteen days in the ICU and without exaggeration, about half of that time I didn’t know if he was going to make it. The most difficult decision I’ve ever made was taking my two sons, ages 9 and 12, to the ICU to see their father. I didn’t know if it would be the last time they would see him alive and I needed to prepare them for whatever may happen. The boys had gone to school one day only to come home and find a neighbor there instead of their parents, so I needed them to know that their dad was in the hospital and very ill. I postponed taking them to the hospital for several days, yet when the doctors were unsure about his recovery, I finally had to make a choice. Thirteen years later, just thinking about what my sons went through still brings me to tears.

During that difficult period something truly wonderful also occurred. I’ve never been a person who would ask for help and my friends and family are aware of this. When I needed them most, they came to my rescue. Knowing that I was spending most of my time at the hospital, my best friend flew across the country and planted herself in my home orchestrating everything from meals to homework. During this same time frame I needed to prepare our house to be sold. Several neighbors got together and created a schedule to do everything needed to the house. One of their churches donated the paint and my neighbors painted the house, cleaned gutters, power-washed the driveway and planted flowers. When my husband came home from the hospital, the house was ready to go on the market.

Now let me tell you why I shared this story. I’m tired of the division that I see in my country. The upcoming presidential election in the United States is bringing differences to the forefront. The acts of terrorism and groups calling for the death of others (different from them) disgusts me. However I know that only love can heal, so I don’t want to spend time focusing on the negatives.

At the beginning of this blog, I asked you some questions. I want to provide my own insight into your answers. I seriously doubt that the government or any of it’s agencies were the ones who came to you in your time of need. It is our family, our friends and the communities we live in, that provide us the support and help when we need it most. Why? Because that is what we do ourselves. When our family, neighbors or community are in need, we as individuals answer the call. Helping another who is in crisis brings out the best in us as human beings.

I believe that I’m blessed to live in a country where we have the opportunity, and in my way of thinking – the responsibility to vote for those who will run the government. However, my life doesn’t change dramatically whether it is a Democrat or Republican in the White House. My life is affected far more by what happens in the community I live in, the company I work for, and the people I chose to spend time with. I find most of our elected officials operate in a different reality than the parent who works all day, drives like a bat out of hell to get to their kids game and falls into bed hours later, exhausted. Rather than focus on division, I encourage you to recognize those individuals that truly make a difference in your life and spend more energy showing them love – whatever that looks like.

Feel free to leave comments or express your own opinion.

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Are You Teaching Your Children To Lie?

Many of us tell our children that honesty is the best policy however is it possible that by our example we are teaching them the opposite? Children are like sponges and they are soaking up everything around them. They pay attention to your actions as well as your words. They pick up on the emotions in the family and they notice far more than parents realize.

Let me describe a circumstance that repeated itself in my life and you can decide if it has occurred in yours. When my sons were young, both under the age of eight, I noticed that my husband began using the phrase, “don’t tell Mom about this”. It applies to multiple situations from buying something to some activity that was borderline unsafe. Of course, my husband didn’t tell me, but my sons would slip up and mention the event followed by “oh no, I wasn’t supposed to tell you.” This is so common, we’ve all seen commercials based around the idea of not telling mom, to keep out of trouble.  

Although it may seem funny at the time, as this type of behavior continues it creates some destructive attitudes in our children. They learn it is okay to lie if it keeps them out of trouble, not realizing that the truth will always find a way to be known. Children learn to not share particular events with one of their parents, thus creating a block to communication that exists in the etheric, often undetected. They learn that lying is a path to get what they want, not understanding the law of cause and effect will eventually correct the situation.

You may have dealt with adults who carried the habit of withholding the truth into the workforce. They become the employee who makes a mistake but won’t own up to it, thinking if nobody knows what they did, they aren’t responsible. We’ve all worked with someone who lied about another or an event. When this person is working with a team, moral plummets as there is no true comradeship because there is a lack of trust.

Whenever one person in a relationship makes a practice of withholding the truth or has the habit of lying, they are preventing the relationship from being all that it could be. The law of vibration states that every thought and action vibrates at it’s own frequency. Since all untruths are based in some sort of fear (getting in trouble or having someone think badly of them among others) those spoken words vibrate much lower than someone speaking the truth. Words and actions based in truth vibrate closer to love which is the opposite frequency of fear.

Just a little something for you to think about the next time you find yourself wanting to withhold the truth from someone. Regarding our children, we all want them to have the best life possible. Wouldn’t that include not burdening them with habits that lower their vibration and cause them challenges later in life?

christiebakeman.com

Allowing Love To Overcome Disappointment

I had a realization the other day. Okay, I’ll admit it, my better half took my own words, threw them back in my face and forced me to look at a situation differently. However it happened, I learned a lesson that is sticking with me because it continues to come into my mind.

One of my children made a mistake that in my mind, was beyond a huge error in judgment. Big enough that I questioned how a child of mine could not recognize the repercussions of their actions. My disappointment  kept me awake and off balance for a couple days. I suppose that learning the facts of the situation from a third party added to my disappointment.

My realization was that my disappointment stemmed from inside me not my child’s action. It may have been obvious to you in the above statement, “a child of mine”. That is a clear indicator that my expectations weren’t being met. Disappointment is simply a byproduct of unmet expectations. The important part is they were my expectations, not my child’s.

This whole line of thinking led me to review each time I’d told someone that I was disappointed in them. I thought about my children, my siblings, my employees and even some friends. Thinking about it now, what right did I have to impose my disappointment on them?

Naturally this led me to think about what I could have said or done differently. I thought I’d share some of them with you just in case you want to rethink disappointment for yourself. I could have asked questions. How can I help you resolve this? What can I do differently so you know that you are always loved? Do you want to discuss it? How are you feeling about your choices? If you had a do over, would you behave differently? How can I help you improve?

I’m just going to stop and think about what the source is the next time I feel disappointment. If it is my own expectations, I have control over how I feel and I’m going to exercise that.

christiebakeman.com

Being True To Yourself

This week a situation that has been going on for fifteen months finally came to it’s conclusion. For most of that time I felt I was fighting constant mental battles. Some of those episodes were extremely stressful as I attempted to anticipate the other party and research the laws that would be part of the process.  Although the outcome was favorable to me, I actually lost something far more important.

For the past several years I’ve focused on being happy and centered which enabled me to be more objective and see the good in all situations. As I rode an out of control, emotional rollercoaster I slipped back into old habits; seeing what was wrong, constantly questioning others intentions and feeling defensive whenever I spent time working on this situation. I allowed this challenge to impinge on other areas of my life. I missed opportunities to be happy in the present moment because I was focused on what was going on that I didn’t like.

I know better. I’m aware that we get more of anything that we focus on, especially when there is emotion attached to the situation. Positive or negative doesn’t come into play. The formula is simple: thoughts + emotion = manifestation. Although I couldn’t control what the other parties said or did, I did have a choice of how I reacted. My thoughts and my emotions were my choice.

Often times when we experience an extremely stressful situation we find it difficult to think clearly. This is where practice makes a difference. When we practice or drill on the smaller incidents in our lives then we are better prepared to handle the larger issues that arise. For example, if someone says something rude to you and instead of getting upset, you recognize that you have a choice. You choose at that time to not let it affect you or you focus on something else that makes you feel better. It’s just like seeing the cup half full rather than half empty.

All of us have challenges in our lives. My hope for you is that you remember (quicker than I did) that you have a choice. You choose your thoughts. You choose the emotions you experience. Thus you choose how you will experience life. Be happy my friends.

It’s Your Life….Own It! is a book written by this blogger and available here.

We all Lie!

Yes, we all lie. The question is where do you draw the line?

If you read that title and immediately got your feathers ruffled, that’s good because you will be open enough to consider what is written here. Let’s start with something simple. Have you ever told a child about the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny? See, sometimes we tell lies to create an illusion meant to excite or create happiness. What about telling a lie about where you are going or doing because you are trying to keep the secret of a surprise party? Those types of lies all seem reasonable and in no way do we think they affect our level of honesty. So where do you draw the line? Is a lie okay if we are trying to protect someone?

Many of us think that the truth is the truth and it doesn’t change however I would propose that the truth has to do with your beliefs about a subject more than what the reality is. From a broad standpoint, if you believe in your heart that people are basically good then you may see someone’s error in judgment as simply a mistake rather than a lie. In this circumstance, you will be likely to believe what this person says to you and accept it as the truth.

All of us have the ability to recognize when someone is telling us the truth. However, if your belief in a person or concept is strong, you may ignore the warning signs that you are being lied to. Think about a time in the past where someone you love told you something and you immediately got a funny feeling. Just as quickly you dismissed it and told yourself that you were being paranoid or unreasonable. Being aware of your feelings is important because they are your guidance system.

You are an energetic being. As all energy does, you vibrate at a frequency. Thoughts and words also have an energy, therefore a vibration that you are picking up energetically. When something is off, possibly not being the truth, we recognize it at the level of our feelings. Your awareness level of your own feelings will have an impact on your ability to identify the truth. In my past career I had training in identifying physical characteristics that occur when someone is lying, however I always found that my feelings were far more accurate. Some would refer to this as trusting your gut. Not one time did anyone begin our conversation with I’m dishonest so you can’t believe anything I say! Quite the contrary, people who are trying to convince you that they are telling the truth will say things like; honestly or you know I’d never lie to you or the truth is when they begin to tell you something. I’m just reminding you to trust your feelings and notice when something feels off to you.

Now lets flip the roles and think about a time that you lied to someone. Maybe you thought you’d be in trouble if the truth was known. Not providing the “full story” could have been your way of failing to take responsibility for your actions or words. It could be you did something intentionally that you felt was wrong and didn’t want to admit it. We’ve all done it so I’m not here to chastise you. What I do want to point out is the feeling you had about the mistruth. Did you notice you felt nervous? Did you have a pit in your stomach? Did you have the desire to avoid the person because you felt too upset near them to stay in control? Whenever you feel those types of emotions, you emit a frequency that someone else can pick up if they are aware or at least not oblivious. Just a little something for you to think about the next time you are thinking about “stretching” the truth.

If this type of article makes you think, check out my website christiebakeman.com

Black, White, Brown Lives Matter

The law of vibration permeates everything. Ignorance about universal laws doesn’t mean they don’t govern our lives, it simply means we are unaware. When this is the case, we talk about coincidence or luck, failing to recognize we have pulled a circumstance or person into our life because it matched our vibration. Like attracts like and there is simply no avoiding that. The law of attraction works in conjunction with the law of vibration bringing us people, events and things that are at a similar frequency to the one we are operating at. This is as true for individuals as it is for groups.

When a group, or individuals of that group, publicly state that they want others to suffer, or that someone, different than they are, should be killed so they understand the pain the group has experienced…..I want to scream……What the hell are you doing? You cannot improve a situation by creating more of the same. I understand feeling hurt. I understand the pain of loss. I understand the frustration of wanting things to change. I also understand that many times we need to do something to defend ourselves against perceived wrongs. The manner that we do that, defines us as people and a society.

Every emotion that we feel comes from love or fear. Where contentment is closer to love, anger is closer to fear. Picture a horizontal line with fear on the left and love is on the right. You can plot every emotion on that line. You can also plot every thought, belief and action somewhere on that same line. The frequency that you normally vibrate at is somewhere between love and fear. Only you know where that is and only you can change it via your thoughts.

If you want to learn more about how to change your thoughts, my book It’s Your Life…Own It! provides practical techniques that you can start using today. Available in soft cover or ebook at author book site. Much love and light to all of you.

What Are You Attracting?

The law of attraction has been and is discussed more than any other universal law. That is because we all like to dream about achieving or acquiring all of our desires. Similar to the way a strong smell can permeate through clothing or a home, the law of attraction is woven through other universal laws, always present and working in conjunction with all the unseen laws that create our environment. Like attracts like at all levels of life.

We’ve all heard that knowledge is power. Gaining an understanding about other universal laws can add to your personal power. For example; the law of vibration states that everything, seen or unseen has its own frequency. This includes the matter that physical objects are composed of but it also includes our thoughts and actions. Like attracts like in all things therefore whatever frequency an individual vibrates at, based on their thoughts and actions, will attract other people, events and circumstances at that same frequency. Whenever there is strong emotion surrounding a pattern of thoughts, the law of attraction will be quicker about bringing other things at the same frequency to that person.

Recently I was made aware of a woman who received exactly what she’d put out into the universe yet she was surprised at the results, thinking them unfair. She began this path with telling another person she was going to destroy their life and take everything from them. Her actions over the next year were vindictive as she constantly attacked the other person including saying things about his family that were untrue. When she began this journey it was with the anticipation of gaining tens of thousands of dollars as she portrayed herself as a victim in the situation. My bet is that she is unaware of many universal laws and has no idea how low the frequency is that she was sending out.

We live in a universe that is fair and it delivers back to us what we put out. Imagine this woman’s disbelief when a judge ruled for the other person and then placed a judgment against her for thousands then added attorney fees on top of it. Evidently learning the “Golden Rule” was missing from her childhood. She thought the system rigged therefore she couldn’t see that universal laws about vibration, cause and effect, responsibility and attraction were all working together to bring her the perfect match to her frequency.

I share this to provide you something to think about. There are times when we feel we’ve been done wrong and feel the need to defend ourselves. When that type of situation occurs, it would benefit us to put some thought into the matter and make conscious choices about how to proceed. Jesus said, “turn the other cheek.” He was telling us that we are going to attract what we focus on. If we attack another, we should expect to be attacked. However if we live with love and compassion, we will find ourselves experiencing those. Live wisely.

christiebakeman.com

Giving of Yourself

I was having a conversation with a young adult that reminded me how it is impossible to know all of the lives that we impact.

TJ shared with me that the night before he and a friend were sharing with a third party how they were both attracted to “broken” people. They have this need to fix others. Then TJ stated that it never worked out. As he described giving of himself there was an unspoken expectation that the other person would reciprocate in kind. He then bluntly stated that if he continued to give pieces of himself away, he would have less of himself. Because of this, he decided that he would no longer make an effort to help these friends and acquaintances that he’d been describing. TJ looked me in the eye and said, “don’t you agree that would be best.”

I told TJ I understood why he thought that way however I disagreed with every part of his assessment of the situation. He asked me to share why, not to be argumentative but he really wanted to know. Here is what I shared with him.

First, every person is “broken” in some way. It may not be obvious however each human being has something that they struggle with. In my eyes there’s no such thing as a broken person, instead I see individuals who need love and understanding. (Okay, some need a kick in the tush.) Some have lost their way or have never identified who they are but nobody is broken beyond repair. Each person is searching for the best way to live, and as teenagers or young adults, many different behaviors are exhibited as what fits them best is sought out.

When I told TJ that he was viewing the situations from a separation point of view he got a bit upset, as I knew he would because he sees himself as accepting of everyone. If we only view what occurs between two people then it is easy to develop a me vs you mentality. However if we stretch and take a birdseye view we would begin to see the connection between people and a oneness. What affects one person ultimately contributes to the vibration of all people.

If you share wisdom or inspire another it doesn’t end with them. Whatever action they take based on what they took away from the situation moves forward either with them or someone that they shared it with. This may occur right away or in the future. In other words, each action we take ripples out into the world and there is no way for you to know how many souls were affected. I encouraged TJ to see the bigger picture rather than focus on the one circumstance.

The pay it forward movement is based on this principle. Often times we provide help to someone who simply can’t repay us for the good deed. That shouldn’t upset us unless we are only doing something to get something back in return. Even though I know that there are those who merely take advantage of others, I believe it to be a small percentage. I believe in the innate goodness of people. That is due to my belief that we all come from a loving source. Those who are further out of alignment with themselves are struggling and exhibit behaviors we label as negative. It benefits us all if we can provide help or guidance to those who need it.

If you find yourself frustrated with someone today, pause long enough to let your own emotions calm down. Then take that birdseye view yourself. Maybe you will recognize some of the ripples that began with you being the first drop of love or kindness.

If you’ve not yet read my book, It’s Your Life…Own It! check out my author site to see if it resonates with you. Have a blessed day.