Being True To Yourself

It's better to concuer yourself    Buddha

This week a situation that has been going on for fifteen months finally came to it’s conclusion. For most of that time I felt I was fighting constant mental battles. Some of those episodes were extremely stressful as I attempted to anticipate the other party and research the laws that would be part of the process.  Although the outcome was favorable to me, I actually lost something far more important.

For the past several years I’ve focused on being happy and centered which enabled me to be more objective and see the good in all situations. As I rode an out of control, emotional rollercoaster I slipped back into old habits; seeing what was wrong, constantly questioning others intentions and feeling defensive whenever I spent time working on this situation. I allowed this challenge to impinge on other areas of my life. I missed opportunities to be happy in the present moment because I was focused on what was going on that I didn’t like.

I know better. I’m aware that we get more of anything that we focus on, especially when there is emotion attached to the situation. Positive or negative doesn’t come into play. The formula is simple: thoughts + emotion = manifestation. Although I couldn’t control what the other parties said or did, I did have a choice of how I reacted. My thoughts and my emotions were my choice.

Often times when we experience an extremely stressful situation we find it difficult to think clearly. This is where practice makes a difference. When we practice or drill on the smaller incidents in our lives then we are better prepared to handle the larger issues that arise. For example, if someone says something rude to you and instead of getting upset, you recognize that you have a choice. You choose at that time to not let it affect you or you focus on something else that makes you feel better. It’s just like seeing the cup half full rather than half empty.

All of us have challenges in our lives. My hope for you is that you remember (quicker than I did) that you have a choice. You choose your thoughts. You choose the emotions you experience. Thus you choose how you will experience life. Be happy my friends.

It’s Your Life….Own It! is a book written by this blogger and available here.


What Are You Attracting?

there is force in the universe   Mahatma Gandhi

The law of attraction has been and is discussed more than any other universal law. That is because we all like to dream about achieving or acquiring all of our desires. Similar to the way a strong smell can permeate through clothing or a home, the law of attraction is woven through other universal laws, always present and working in conjunction with all the unseen laws that create our environment. Like attracts like at all levels of life.

We’ve all heard that knowledge is power. Gaining an understanding about other universal laws can add to your personal power. For example; the law of vibration states that everything, seen or unseen has its own frequency. This includes the matter that physical objects are composed of but it also includes our thoughts and actions. Like attracts like in all things therefore whatever frequency an individual vibrates at, based on their thoughts and actions, will attract other people, events and circumstances at that same frequency. Whenever there is strong emotion surrounding a pattern of thoughts, the law of attraction will be quicker about bringing other things at the same frequency to that person.

Recently I was made aware of a woman who received exactly what she’d put out into the universe yet she was surprised at the results, thinking them unfair. She began this path with telling another person she was going to destroy their life and take everything from them. Her actions over the next year were vindictive as she constantly attacked the other person including saying things about his family that were untrue. When she began this journey it was with the anticipation of gaining tens of thousands of dollars as she portrayed herself as a victim in the situation. My bet is that she is unaware of many universal laws and has no idea how low the frequency is that she was sending out.

We live in a universe that is fair and it delivers back to us what we put out. Imagine this woman’s disbelief when a judge ruled for the other person and then placed a judgment against her for thousands then added attorney fees on top of it. Evidently learning the “Golden Rule” was missing from her childhood. She thought the system rigged therefore she couldn’t see that universal laws about vibration, cause and effect, responsibility and attraction were all working together to bring her the perfect match to her frequency.

I share this to provide you something to think about. There are times when we feel we’ve been done wrong and feel the need to defend ourselves. When that type of situation occurs, it would benefit us to put some thought into the matter and make conscious choices about how to proceed. Jesus said, “turn the other cheek.” He was telling us that we are going to attract what we focus on. If we attack another, we should expect to be attacked. However if we live with love and compassion, we will find ourselves experiencing those. Live wisely.

A Great Memory Can Be a Detriment.

Let It Go Iyanla

I had an epiphany on Mother’s Day about myself and how much room I had for spiritual growth.  I’ve always been proud of my memory.  The fact it was good wasn’t just my opinion, co-workers quickly discovered I didn’t forget much.  It didn’t matter if the subject was dates, events or policies.  My mind connected enough dots to allow recall on demand.  The same is true regarding personal relationships, as I would recall conversations, feelings and behaviors.  This is especially true for those connected to a date or holiday.  Hence my soul searching adventure on Mother’s Day.

We were having dinner at my in-laws and I suppose the expression on my face was a bit melancholy.  “Why do you look like that?  You heard from both your boys and we both told you happy Mother’s Day this morning” says hubby.  Well that was all it took for me to recall in great detail the past few Mother’s Days and the inaccuracy of his statement.  Down the rabbit hole I went emotionally.  A few minutes later I felt the need to correct him as I pulled him aside and pointed out that my step-daughter has never wished me greetings on this day.  Not to mention her lack of acknowledgment of my birthday, which of course I did mention.

There lies the epiphany.  The quality of life isn’t about what others do or don’t do, it is about how we think about the situation.  Do we label it as a positive or a negative?  Any event is just that, an event.  It isn’t until we assign it a label within our mind that it produces any type of emotion.  I know this.  I write about it.  However there are times that I forget what I know and I react without objectivity and follow the river of my emotions.

Later, on the drive home, I found myself defending my step-daughter within my own mind.  I know she loves me from what she says and does during the course of daily life for the three years we’ve lived together.  Maybe she feels it would be disloyal to her own mother to demonstrate appreciation on a special day.  The fact that she would prefer to live with her mother and it isn’t possible weighs on her soul.  Where mothers day is special to me, it may be a torment within her.  These are things I must consider for both of our benefit.  Along with the fact that I know she wouldn’t intentionally hurt me.  Within a blended family there are wounds that are unseen, yet must be tended to.  As a parent, we must set the example and recognize what is important to our children to allow them to flourish.  That may mean seeing life from their point of view instead of our own.

Sometimes having a great memory prevents us from living in the present moment.  When we are thinking about what has happened in the past we aren’t focused on the here and now.  We miss the joy of the moment.  The fact is that all of us have painful memories, big or small doesn’t matter.  When we put our attention on those we prevent something different from manifesting in our lives.  Like attracts like.  Sometimes you just have to let things go.  Being grateful for what is currently in your life is a good start.  For me I need to be less proud of my memory and develop a pride for living in the moment.

Please feel free to comment on this or any other blog.  I’m interested in your opinions.

Thoughts Impact Your Health!

you are where your thoughts brought you

I don’t know about you, but I grew up believing that diseases were inherited.  However recent scientific data proves that is only the case about 5% of the time.  What really makes a difference is what you think about your own health and I’m talking about both your self talk and what you say to others.  Your language also makes a difference.  The universe doesn’t recognize don’t, never and no especially when there is strong emotion behind your statements.  The law of attraction brings you what you are focused on, meaning the situation or circumstance that has your attention.

Let me tell you a story to make my point.  I had a close friend who I’ll call Cal.  When Cal was a teenager his father passed away at the young age of 46.  Once Cal had a family of his own he began worrying that he would have the same fate.  He repeatedly said out loud that he would never leave his children without a father.  Cal would talk about his father dying young and say it wouldn’t happen to him.  Because of his concern he made sure that he got regular checkups and he lived a relatively healthy lifestyle.  He didn’t smoke, drank alcohol only on occasion and exercised.  Yet, his mental focus was still on not letting some horrible disease sneak up on him.  At age 40, he began having health issues and a variety of doctors couldn’t agree on what was causing them.  He was visiting doctors at least twice per month.  Three days after his cardiologist gave him a clean bill of health he passed away at 43 years old.  He did exactly what he said he wouldn’t…..left his children without a father.

If this was the only person I observed this happen to, maybe I would think differently.  However I’ve witnessed the law of attraction bring multiple people what they were focused on.  When you use the words never or don’t want, please recognize that you are putting energy and focus on that thing you are trying to push away.  Whatever we resist, persists. That’s the tough part especially when we feel so strongly about anything, including our health.  We receive what we are attracting with our beliefs and our thoughts.  When someone dies at a young age we often will hear about how unfair life is.

This world that we live in is fair, you just have to understand the rules.  I’m talking about the operating system that we live within.  You get what you focus your energy and attention on and if those desires are coupled with strong emotion, unseen forces go to work to bring it to you.  Pay attention to your thoughts and learn how to focus on what it is that you really desire.  Having gratitude for your health is a good start.  Learn more about making the rules of the universe work in your favor by learning how your beliefs affect your results.  My book, It’s Your Life….Own It! shares concepts about improving your health as well as other areas of your life.  Check out my author page to learn more.

Entitlement Boundaries

any man, happy letting government - Henry

You are entitled to many things; to have your own thoughts and beliefs, to create the life you desire and to experience all the joy and happiness you can attract.  It doesn’t matter your circumstances, these things are under your control.

Usually when we think of entitlement our minds jump to those who feel they should get something for nothing or rely on others to take care of them.  Why is that?  I think it is because we, as a collective group, have created a culture that falsely states all people should be equal in all things.  Whether it is participation trophies or the distain for extreme success and wealth, we have lost our way.  We blame others for our circumstances and insist that in order for there to be equality that everyone must have the same amount of resources.

I actually believe that all people are equal.  All of us have the same opportunity to create what we want our life to look like.  There is not a single person unable to change their thoughts or beliefs when different evidence is presented to them.  Once we engage with the idea that we are responsible for our circumstances, we open the door to possibilities.  That is the beginning of the magic of creation, when we own our results, we then recognize that we can change them.

The laws of this universe that we all reside in are the same for everyone.  You attract what you put out there in way of the frequency that you vibrate at.  If you exude love for your fellow man, you will find numerous examples of kindness, joy and caring come into your life.  However if you complain and disparage others on a continual basis, should you really be surprised if your life sucks?  Pay attention to what you are putting out there.  I don’t just mean what you post on social media but also your thoughts, and only you truly know what those are.

Yes, you are entitled, to what you can create.  That doesn’t mean you are entitled to someone else’s creation or their money.  It doesn’t mean that you are entitled to the same job as someone who put in more effort to become the best candidate.  It doesn’t mean that your government should take care of you while others foot the bill.  I’m not against social programs that have limits.  If you lose your job, file for unemployment, until you have another job.  If a circumstance changes and you need food stamps, by all means apply for them to help your family, until you are able to recover from the situation.  Most of us have experienced a time in our life when we needed help.  That doesn’t mean we should use that assistance to take care of us for the rest of our lives if we are mentally/physically capable of providing for ourselves.

You are a creator.  You are special and unique.  You are entitled by the very nature of your being.  Just don’t confuse being entitled with being taken care of.  There is a difference.

If you want to take more control of your life and your results, you can find practical techniques in my book, It’s Your Life….Own It!

Your Thoughts Affect Your Health

a prayer to heal self doubt  Doreen Virtue

Sometimes we just don’t realize how much our thoughts affect our health.  We attribute our physical state to the germs we’ve been exposed to or who at the office has been ill.

My youngest son called me and told me he wasn’t feeling well.  As he described his symptoms to me, my first thought was the flu or some cold like virus.  Rather than tell him to go to the doctor or take some over the counter medicine, I did something totally different.  I asked him what he was worried about.  At first he said nothing was worrying him then he told me about a conversation with someone we both know.  This led to us identifying that he was concerned about a situation.

There are two points that I want to make here.  The first involves the person my son had the conversation but it applies to many conversations you have.  This person operates at a lower vibration.  They are the type of person who brings up the negative under the guise of trying to be helpful.  You know the type.  After interacting with them you feel worse than you did before and very likely you begin doubting yourself.  My advice to my son was that he had to mentally step back and look at the conversation objectively, recognizing the frequency this person emits.  Why would you allow this person to upset your apple cart?

The second point is that when you worry about something it causes physical distress which can simulate becoming ill.  Just as that grain of sand in your shoe feels like a rock after a period of time, so does the subject of your worry.  It grows, not really but it feels that way in your head.  I encouraged my son to immediately confront his concern and have a conversation with the person it involved.  Eliminating the worry by getting into communication with the other party can resolve the issue.  No matter which way the conversation goes, you now have an answer that you can deal with, thus no more worry about it.

Three hours later I spoke to my son again.  When he answered the phone, I could tell by his tone of voice that he felt better.  He had dealt with the subject of his worry and had a plan for the future.  Although he was a bit surprised he no longer felt sick, I wasn’t.  Your thoughts have great influence over your physical body.  Learn more by reading my book, It’s Your Life….Own It!  Author Book Site

Live With Intention

everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency

I used to believe in fate, coincidence and even luck.  Sure, I recognized that there was a relationship between cause and effect, however I looked at it from a physical perspective.  After all we do live in a physical world with constraints of time and space.  I thought of energy as something to be expended toward a goal.  My awareness about vibration was nonexistent as evidenced by the language I used as I put thoughts out into the universe.

Little did I know at the time I was ignoring the power over my own life.  I believed then, that life happened to us and it was our job to figure out how to deal with it.  I clearly remember the events that shifted my awareness.  It was 1986 and I was working for a large retailer in Virginia.  Unfortunately the company had a huge internal theft problem and within the past year I’d had over one hundred employees arrested for theft.  My faith in humanity had depleted to the point that I was turning into someone I didn’t like much.  I had to make a change for my own mental health so I decided I was going to move to Florida.  When a co-worker asked what I was going to do, since I didn’t have a job lined up, I glibly replied if I didn’t find a job, I would just file bankruptcy and live on the beach.

Oh, the power of the spoken word!  The short version is that my husband and I did end up filing bankruptcy but that wasn’t the important lesson.  When I was going through that very difficult period, I took time to really analyze my own thoughts.  That coupled with research on the power of our thoughts and how we attract people and circumstances into our lives led to increased awareness.  During that dark time, I began to find my power.  I began to see how I’d been emitting a frequency that produced results as real as all of the physical things I used to believe in.

Today there’s an enormous amount of information, scientifically proven, that we all vibrate at a frequency that attracts people, circumstances and events to us when they are also at a similar frequency.  But it doesn’t matter how much information is available if you believe that you have no control over your life.  I can tell you that your thoughts have energy.  However until you not only recognize it for yourself but also take responsibility for those thoughts, your life won’t change much. 

I wrote It’s Your Life….Own It! as a guide to help others find their own answers.  Sometimes you need to know what questions to ask.  Let me give you an example.  Ask yourself, why is my life filled with abundance?  Your mind automatically began working on coming up with answers because that is how your mind is programmed… find answers to questions.  You are capable of changing your life.  If that is your intention, I’d like to share my book with you.  Click here Book Site to check it out for yourself.