Black, White, Brown Lives Matter

the secret to change    Socrates

The law of vibration permeates everything. Ignorance about universal laws doesn’t mean they don’t govern our lives, it simply means we are unaware. When this is the case, we talk about coincidence or luck, failing to recognize we have pulled a circumstance or person into our life because it matched our vibration. Like attracts like and there is simply no avoiding that. The law of attraction works in conjunction with the law of vibration bringing us people, events and things that are at a similar frequency to the one we are operating at. This is as true for individuals as it is for groups.

When a group, or individuals of that group, publicly state that they want others to suffer, or that someone, different than they are, should be killed so they understand the pain the group has experienced…..I want to scream……What the hell are you doing? You cannot improve a situation by creating more of the same. I understand feeling hurt. I understand the pain of loss. I understand the frustration of wanting things to change. I also understand that many times we need to do something to defend ourselves against perceived wrongs. The manner that we do that, defines us as people and a society.

Every emotion that we feel comes from love or fear. Where contentment is closer to love, anger is closer to fear. Picture a horizontal line with fear on the left and love is on the right. You can plot every emotion on that line. You can also plot every thought, belief and action somewhere on that same line. The frequency that you normally vibrate at is somewhere between love and fear. Only you know where that is and only you can change it via your thoughts.

If you want to learn more about how to change your thoughts, my book It’s Your Life…Own It! provides practical techniques that you can start using today. Available in soft cover or ebook at author book site. Much love and light to all of you.

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What Are You Attracting?

there is force in the universe   Mahatma Gandhi

The law of attraction has been and is discussed more than any other universal law. That is because we all like to dream about achieving or acquiring all of our desires. Similar to the way a strong smell can permeate through clothing or a home, the law of attraction is woven through other universal laws, always present and working in conjunction with all the unseen laws that create our environment. Like attracts like at all levels of life.

We’ve all heard that knowledge is power. Gaining an understanding about other universal laws can add to your personal power. For example; the law of vibration states that everything, seen or unseen has its own frequency. This includes the matter that physical objects are composed of but it also includes our thoughts and actions. Like attracts like in all things therefore whatever frequency an individual vibrates at, based on their thoughts and actions, will attract other people, events and circumstances at that same frequency. Whenever there is strong emotion surrounding a pattern of thoughts, the law of attraction will be quicker about bringing other things at the same frequency to that person.

Recently I was made aware of a woman who received exactly what she’d put out into the universe yet she was surprised at the results, thinking them unfair. She began this path with telling another person she was going to destroy their life and take everything from them. Her actions over the next year were vindictive as she constantly attacked the other person including saying things about his family that were untrue. When she began this journey it was with the anticipation of gaining tens of thousands of dollars as she portrayed herself as a victim in the situation. My bet is that she is unaware of many universal laws and has no idea how low the frequency is that she was sending out.

We live in a universe that is fair and it delivers back to us what we put out. Imagine this woman’s disbelief when a judge ruled for the other person and then placed a judgment against her for thousands then added attorney fees on top of it. Evidently learning the “Golden Rule” was missing from her childhood. She thought the system rigged therefore she couldn’t see that universal laws about vibration, cause and effect, responsibility and attraction were all working together to bring her the perfect match to her frequency.

I share this to provide you something to think about. There are times when we feel we’ve been done wrong and feel the need to defend ourselves. When that type of situation occurs, it would benefit us to put some thought into the matter and make conscious choices about how to proceed. Jesus said, “turn the other cheek.” He was telling us that we are going to attract what we focus on. If we attack another, we should expect to be attacked. However if we live with love and compassion, we will find ourselves experiencing those. Live wisely.

christiebakeman.com

Giving of Yourself

Every positive thought and action sends ripples out into the world. You may never know who you influenced to change for the better.

I was having a conversation with a young adult that reminded me how it is impossible to know all of the lives that we impact.

TJ shared with me that the night before he and a friend were sharing with a third party how they were both attracted to “broken” people. They have this need to fix others. Then TJ stated that it never worked out. As he described giving of himself there was an unspoken expectation that the other person would reciprocate in kind. He then bluntly stated that if he continued to give pieces of himself away, he would have less of himself. Because of this, he decided that he would no longer make an effort to help these friends and acquaintances that he’d been describing. TJ looked me in the eye and said, “don’t you agree that would be best.”

I told TJ I understood why he thought that way however I disagreed with every part of his assessment of the situation. He asked me to share why, not to be argumentative but he really wanted to know. Here is what I shared with him.

First, every person is “broken” in some way. It may not be obvious however each human being has something that they struggle with. In my eyes there’s no such thing as a broken person, instead I see individuals who need love and understanding. (Okay, some need a kick in the tush.) Some have lost their way or have never identified who they are but nobody is broken beyond repair. Each person is searching for the best way to live, and as teenagers or young adults, many different behaviors are exhibited as what fits them best is sought out.

When I told TJ that he was viewing the situations from a separation point of view he got a bit upset, as I knew he would because he sees himself as accepting of everyone. If we only view what occurs between two people then it is easy to develop a me vs you mentality. However if we stretch and take a birdseye view we would begin to see the connection between people and a oneness. What affects one person ultimately contributes to the vibration of all people.

If you share wisdom or inspire another it doesn’t end with them. Whatever action they take based on what they took away from the situation moves forward either with them or someone that they shared it with. This may occur right away or in the future. In other words, each action we take ripples out into the world and there is no way for you to know how many souls were affected. I encouraged TJ to see the bigger picture rather than focus on the one circumstance.

The pay it forward movement is based on this principle. Often times we provide help to someone who simply can’t repay us for the good deed. That shouldn’t upset us unless we are only doing something to get something back in return. Even though I know that there are those who merely take advantage of others, I believe it to be a small percentage. I believe in the innate goodness of people. That is due to my belief that we all come from a loving source. Those who are further out of alignment with themselves are struggling and exhibit behaviors we label as negative. It benefits us all if we can provide help or guidance to those who need it.

If you find yourself frustrated with someone today, pause long enough to let your own emotions calm down. Then take that birdseye view yourself. Maybe you will recognize some of the ripples that began with you being the first drop of love or kindness.

If you’ve not yet read my book, It’s Your Life…Own It! check out my author site to see if it resonates with you. Have a blessed day.

Normal vs Extraordinary

The most wonderful thing about this life is the fact that you continually have an opportunity to create something different.

It doesn’t matter what circumstances you woke up to this morning. You have the opportunity to create something different than you experienced yesterday, if that is what you choose. Unfortunately most of us don’t recognize that fact. We feel stuck. We’ve accepted that our lives are what they are and we need to suck it up and just learn to deal with it.

Nothing could be further from the truth and I’ll share why. First, can we agree that whatever circumstances we become accustomed to become our normal? We continue to do the same things until they are such an ingrained habit, we don’t give them much thought. We become complacent and comfortable and live inside our little box where we feel safe and protected. Thus we continue to react in the same manner and achieve the same results.

Have you ever thought about what would happen if you broke the chain of habitual thinking and did something different? Of course you have. We daydream about making different choices and what would result from those choices all the time. Most of the time we talk ourselves out of it, whatever it is, because we think it would be irresponsible to do anything that isn’t consistent with how we’ve been living.

If we could accept that we are responsible for all of the circumstances in our lives, would it influence our decisions? I think it would. I find it amusing that it usually takes a big slap upside the head from the universe to get us to recognize that our habitual thinking and behaviors aren’t going to produce something different than we’ve already gotten. This happened to me twice within four years. One of those circumstances resulted in my divorce which I’ve written about in prior blogs so I won’t repeat it here.

The second situation involved my job. I’d been writing more and more in my spare time and talked about writing a book with my family. However I felt it would be downright ridiculous and irresponsible to leave my job so I could spend more time writing. I had deeply held believes about what I was responsible for but there were gaps in my thinking so I never took it all the way to being 100% responsible for my results. That said, I felt stuck. There was something I wanted to do however I believed that I needed my job to survive. Much of this had to do with my beliefs about how to make money. In walks the universe with a giant sense of humor. The company I worked for announced a change in the geographic location I would be responsible for and my windshield time was going to triple. I saw this as the universe forcing me to step out of my comfort and make a new choice.

When we step away from our normal way of thinking and doing things, the possibility of creating something extraordinary becomes a reality. It may not be world changing however any shift outside our normal will result in dramatic changes in our lives. That can and does feel extraordinary to us. Once we are able to examine our beliefs, make a change in our thinking and take action, something interesting happens. We begin to look at other beliefs and habits. That increase in awareness is not something we can ignore and that comfortable box we’ve been living in becomes uncomfortably small. All it takes is a change in one area to get the ball rolling toward a fuller, more satisfying life.

It’s Your Life….Own It! shares exercises to assist you, should you decide you desire changes in your life. The book and my other work is available on my website

Recognizing A Poor Choice

best choice brings relief.

I fucked up! Normally I keep my language pretty clean in my writing but sometimes the best word for a situation is blunt, to the point and leaves little room for interpretation. Whether you know me personally or not you’ve already figured out that I made a decision that didn’t work out as I’d intended it. You don’t even have to know what the situation or circumstance was to figure out I’m not happy about a choice I made. Three words was all I had to share for you to understand how I’m feeling and I bet you thought of a time that you used those words and felt what I’m feeling.

All of us make life choices that we believe are the best thing to do at the time and later when we acquire more information, we realize there was a better choice. My fuck up was ignoring my internal guidance system. Rather embarrassing for a writer who focuses on being aware of your emotions. By day three after my initial decision I was noticeably less happy. Even though I recognized this, I didn’t want to admit I was wrong. On day five I was downright negative and became critical of others. That finally got my attention.

We human beings want to be right. We go to great extents to justify why we are right, especially when another is pointing out that we are wrong. Think about a time that someone else pointed out you were wrong. It’s likely that even if you thought their argument was valid, you began by justifying your position. It’s a process we take ourselves through before we are able to admit we are wrong. If we pay attention to how we feel, the time this process takes can be shortened.

Once I realized I was being negative I knew I had to make a decision. I had to either find a way to be happy with my decision or completely reverse it. Sitting on the fence of indecision I waffled for several minutes as I thought about the possibilities from a logical space. Then I focused on my emotions. Thinking about a complete reversal of my initial decision brought a feeling of relief. It didn’t bring me great joy, just relief, however that was moving me in the right direction. Once I made the involved parties aware that I was changing direction, I felt more relief and within hours I began feeling more upbeat, more like myself.

You hear people say “life is short” all the time in reference to how we spend our time. I will never get back those five days however at least it wasn’t five months or five years. I learned from the experience and if a similar circumstance arises, I will be better equipped to gather more information in the beginning to make the best choice possible. Most important it was a reminder to pay attention to how I feel. Our emotions exist to assist us on our journey so we can recognize if we are in alignment with our true self. Invalidating your emotions so you can be right will backfire in the end. For me, reaching for happiness each day has to be more important than always being right.

christiebakeman.com

 

Are You Asking The Right Questions?

what if idea of life

How many times a day do you find yourself asking questions? I’m not talking about asking for directions or if you can substitute something on a menu. I mean the type of questions that have a real impact on your day. These could be part of your self talk or questions that you vocalize to others.

The type of questions we ask are the best indicator of whether or not we feel in control of our own lives. If the eyes are the door to the soul, then our questions are the window into how our mind perceives personal accountability. The manner that our questions are phrased in, allow us to identify what our preconceived beliefs are about the subject.

Asking why, who and when questions often times indicate a victim mentality. Yea, I know that probably doesn’t sit well with you so let me provide some examples. Why is this happening to me? Who came up with that bright idea? When is the company going to realize that policy doesn’t work? Why can’t she see what is happening? Who is in charge of this place? When is the government going to do what is right for citizens? All of these are a relinquishment of personal responsibility.

Compare the questions above to these that encourage personal accountability. What can I do to improve the situation? How can I help? What part can I play to assist my co-workers? How are my thoughts affecting my results? What is the best solution to this problem? How can I improve my financial results? The best questions you can ask yourself usually involve what and how and also some form of I. These are the types of questions that promote personal accountability.

I know that for myself, I was asking the wrong questions during the most difficult time in my life. Although all areas of my life were affected, I’ll share just one aspect. Finances. During the prior two years I’d made an extra 33% on top of my normal income because of bonuses and stock options. As fast as that extra money hit our joint bank account, I was seeing it disappear just as quick as my husband decided there would be more where that came from. I was asking; why is he doing this? Why isn’t he following through on what we agreed upon? Who does he think he is, spending my money? When is he going to start behaving responsibly? Notice anything? These questions are all about someone else changing, as though what was happening was being done to me. At the time I didn’t realize I was thinking like a victim. That came later.

What I should have been asking at the time, preferably at the beginning of those two years, should have been questions about me and my accountability. What am I going to change? How am I going to invest the extra money I made? What am I going to do to take responsibility for what is happening? If I would have taken accountability personally rather than blame my husband, I could have and would have made different choices. Asking what and how questions would have forced me to adjust my thoughts and the results would have changed.

All of us have opportunities each day to decide if we are going to take personal accountability. I’m reminded of attending a meeting where a slide during a HR presentation said, “Accountability begins with YOU!”. Actually stating it in that way isn’t quite right as it points the preverbal finger in the other direction. Accountability begins with ME! I make my own choices. Each day there are circumstances that allow me to choose between blaming another or taking the bull by the horns and deciding that I can do something to make the situation better. I’d encourage you to pay attention to the questions you ask of yourself and others. Are they benefiting you by allowing you to be personally accountable? I hope they are.

My book, It’s Your Life….Own It! is about taking control of your own life. Let’s face facts, trying to change somebody else’s behavior probably hasn’t produced the results you were looking for. We can only change ourselves. Author / Book Link

 

Let Them Know You’re Proud

children chose you

As much as I try not to judge, I’ve never understood parents who are unsupportive of their children. When I say unsupportive I mean in all ways from financial to emotional and everything in between. I recognize that my beliefs about life and spirituality guide my thoughts and those with different beliefs will make decisions based in those beliefs.

We are spiritual beings and the energy source that many call the soul has merely taken up temporary residence in our physical body. It’s kind of ironic that people can accept that they are energy projected into this vehicle we call a body for themselves, but when we think of babies, we tend to focus on physical biology. When an unexpected pregnancy occurred in our family, I shared what I thought about the situation. How awesome that a being of source energy made the conscious decision to come into a body and chose who would be his or her parents. In other words, a God source energy decided to express itself in physical form, and with everyone on earth to chose from, it chose specific people to be its birth parents. How can you feel anything but joy about that? Think about times in the past when you were chosen for something –a team on the playground, a big project at work or being the person someone wanted to commit to spending his or her life with. It felt pretty good, didn’t it? Actually it felt great to be chosen. How incredible that a soul selected those individuals who arguably will be the most influential in the beginning of their new journey on earth.

I know it might be a stretch for some to believe their children chose them, but I really do believe that souls choose the families they will be born into. That is why I have such difficulty with unsupportive parents. Sure raising children can be challenging but for myself, I learned more about love and life from my kids than any other relationship. During rough times I have made decisions from a sense of duty as a parent however the incredible sense of love I have for my children was my guide most of the time.

The emotional wellbeing of a child carries them long after they leave our home. I think the two most powerful and enduring sentiments to share with your child are the phrases; I love you and I’m proud of you. Some are uncomfortable with expressing themselves with words however I would encourage you to say those two phrases often. They are a higher vibration than most other things you can say to your child thus they resonate with the soul.

I learned how important those phrases were when my oldest was in the service. He was involved in an intense level of training with an extremely high drop out rate. Three different times within a six month period he called me to share his grief over a friend committing suicide. As a parent, I worried about the intensity of what he was going through, especially if others found their escape in death rather than dropping out of the program. My son told me what they all had in common was a lack of support from their family. He assured me that he knew, no matter how or what he did, he would be loved. I still cry for those parents who lost their sons in what was but a moment of desperation. No doubt if they could start over they would ensure their son grew up knowing that they loved him and were proud of him, providing him the emotional rock to hold onto when life got tough.

Even if your beliefs are different than mine, I hope you will consider using “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” frequently. To do so can only improve the vibration of this planet, making it better for everyone.

Feel free to leave comments, whether you agree or disagree, I’m interested. Christie