Are You Teaching Your Children To Lie?

Integrity is doing the right thing C. S. Lewis

Many of us tell our children that honesty is the best policy however is it possible that by our example we are teaching them the opposite? Children are like sponges and they are soaking up everything around them. They pay attention to your actions as well as your words. They pick up on the emotions in the family and they notice far more than parents realize.

Let me describe a circumstance that repeated itself in my life and you can decide if it has occurred in yours. When my sons were young, both under the age of eight, I noticed that my husband began using the phrase, “don’t tell Mom about this”. It applies to multiple situations from buying something to some activity that was borderline unsafe. Of course, my husband didn’t tell me, but my sons would slip up and mention the event followed by “oh no, I wasn’t supposed to tell you.” This is so common, we’ve all seen commercials based around the idea of not telling mom, to keep out of trouble.  

Although it may seem funny at the time, as this type of behavior continues it creates some destructive attitudes in our children. They learn it is okay to lie if it keeps them out of trouble, not realizing that the truth will always find a way to be known. Children learn to not share particular events with one of their parents, thus creating a block to communication that exists in the etheric, often undetected. They learn that lying is a path to get what they want, not understanding the law of cause and effect will eventually correct the situation.

You may have dealt with adults who carried the habit of withholding the truth into the workforce. They become the employee who makes a mistake but won’t own up to it, thinking if nobody knows what they did, they aren’t responsible. We’ve all worked with someone who lied about another or an event. When this person is working with a team, moral plummets as there is no true comradeship because there is a lack of trust.

Whenever one person in a relationship makes a practice of withholding the truth or has the habit of lying, they are preventing the relationship from being all that it could be. The law of vibration states that every thought and action vibrates at it’s own frequency. Since all untruths are based in some sort of fear (getting in trouble or having someone think badly of them among others) those spoken words vibrate much lower than someone speaking the truth. Words and actions based in truth vibrate closer to love which is the opposite frequency of fear.

Just a little something for you to think about the next time you find yourself wanting to withhold the truth from someone. Regarding our children, we all want them to have the best life possible. Wouldn’t that include not burdening them with habits that lower their vibration and cause them challenges later in life?

christiebakeman.com

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Black, White, Brown Lives Matter

the secret to change    Socrates

The law of vibration permeates everything. Ignorance about universal laws doesn’t mean they don’t govern our lives, it simply means we are unaware. When this is the case, we talk about coincidence or luck, failing to recognize we have pulled a circumstance or person into our life because it matched our vibration. Like attracts like and there is simply no avoiding that. The law of attraction works in conjunction with the law of vibration bringing us people, events and things that are at a similar frequency to the one we are operating at. This is as true for individuals as it is for groups.

When a group, or individuals of that group, publicly state that they want others to suffer, or that someone, different than they are, should be killed so they understand the pain the group has experienced…..I want to scream……What the hell are you doing? You cannot improve a situation by creating more of the same. I understand feeling hurt. I understand the pain of loss. I understand the frustration of wanting things to change. I also understand that many times we need to do something to defend ourselves against perceived wrongs. The manner that we do that, defines us as people and a society.

Every emotion that we feel comes from love or fear. Where contentment is closer to love, anger is closer to fear. Picture a horizontal line with fear on the left and love is on the right. You can plot every emotion on that line. You can also plot every thought, belief and action somewhere on that same line. The frequency that you normally vibrate at is somewhere between love and fear. Only you know where that is and only you can change it via your thoughts.

If you want to learn more about how to change your thoughts, my book It’s Your Life…Own It! provides practical techniques that you can start using today. Available in soft cover or ebook at author book site. Much love and light to all of you.

Let Them Know You’re Proud

children chose you

As much as I try not to judge, I’ve never understood parents who are unsupportive of their children. When I say unsupportive I mean in all ways from financial to emotional and everything in between. I recognize that my beliefs about life and spirituality guide my thoughts and those with different beliefs will make decisions based in those beliefs.

We are spiritual beings and the energy source that many call the soul has merely taken up temporary residence in our physical body. It’s kind of ironic that people can accept that they are energy projected into this vehicle we call a body for themselves, but when we think of babies, we tend to focus on physical biology. When an unexpected pregnancy occurred in our family, I shared what I thought about the situation. How awesome that a being of source energy made the conscious decision to come into a body and chose who would be his or her parents. In other words, a God source energy decided to express itself in physical form, and with everyone on earth to chose from, it chose specific people to be its birth parents. How can you feel anything but joy about that? Think about times in the past when you were chosen for something –a team on the playground, a big project at work or being the person someone wanted to commit to spending his or her life with. It felt pretty good, didn’t it? Actually it felt great to be chosen. How incredible that a soul selected those individuals who arguably will be the most influential in the beginning of their new journey on earth.

I know it might be a stretch for some to believe their children chose them, but I really do believe that souls choose the families they will be born into. That is why I have such difficulty with unsupportive parents. Sure raising children can be challenging but for myself, I learned more about love and life from my kids than any other relationship. During rough times I have made decisions from a sense of duty as a parent however the incredible sense of love I have for my children was my guide most of the time.

The emotional wellbeing of a child carries them long after they leave our home. I think the two most powerful and enduring sentiments to share with your child are the phrases; I love you and I’m proud of you. Some are uncomfortable with expressing themselves with words however I would encourage you to say those two phrases often. They are a higher vibration than most other things you can say to your child thus they resonate with the soul.

I learned how important those phrases were when my oldest was in the service. He was involved in an intense level of training with an extremely high drop out rate. Three different times within a six month period he called me to share his grief over a friend committing suicide. As a parent, I worried about the intensity of what he was going through, especially if others found their escape in death rather than dropping out of the program. My son told me what they all had in common was a lack of support from their family. He assured me that he knew, no matter how or what he did, he would be loved. I still cry for those parents who lost their sons in what was but a moment of desperation. No doubt if they could start over they would ensure their son grew up knowing that they loved him and were proud of him, providing him the emotional rock to hold onto when life got tough.

Even if your beliefs are different than mine, I hope you will consider using “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” frequently. To do so can only improve the vibration of this planet, making it better for everyone.

Feel free to leave comments, whether you agree or disagree, I’m interested. Christie

 

My Top 10 List For Raising Happy Children

prime purpose is to help others Dalai Lama

As parents we provide the best life we can for our children. I believe most of us want our children to become happy and responsible adults. This is my top 10 list to achieve that. You may have your own list however I’m thinking our lists have much in common.

  • Teach children they are energy and connected to everything by energy
  • Tell children they are intelligent and demonstrate you believe it
  • Teach children their thoughts produce tangible results
  • Teach words can hurt or encourage and to choose wisely
  • Demonstrate that kindness brings joy to both giver and receiver
  • Teach that moral courage and integrity are the basis of good decisions
  • Teach that collaboration improves every situation
  • Teach children that they control how they feel and can change it
  • Demonstrate that life is fun and full of opportunity
  • Teach by example what happiness is because they witness happy parents

No matter the age of your child, every parent knows the feeling of your words falling on deaf ears. For those of you feeling a bit of discouragement over this, let me assure you that anything that is repeated often does sink in.  You may have to wait until your children have reached adulthood to get verification but the important lessons will stick. Here’s an example that had me laughing out loud. My youngest son, Ryan, was a slob growing up. It was normal not to see his bedroom floor beneath the discarded clothes and sports equipment. Dishes had great difficulty finding their way back to the kitchen. You get the idea. I tried to teach my children that an organized space helps you to feel more in control of your world (not in my top 10). A couple of months ago during a phone conversation, Ryan was telling me what a slob his roommate was. He described dishes with food on them under the bed, clothes dropped wherever and the inability to wipe off the kitchen counter. Evidently Ryan has turned into a neat freak since living on his own. I, of course, was LMAO at the irony. My point is, eventually your kids recognize lessons from childhood.

Although I could turn my top 10 list into a book, I want to address what I believe is the most important — being a happy parent. The fact is what you say doesn’t matter nearly as much as what your children observe in the household. Think about it. The reason so many adults have mental blocks about money is we grew up hearing “money doesn’t grow on trees”, “we can’t afford that” or “our last name isn’t Rockefeller”. We witnessed our parents arguing over money or financial decisions. Even though conversations may not have been directed at us, we developed beliefs based on the sense of lack that was prevalent in the actions of our family.

If you want your children to be happy, find a way to be happy with your life, the way it is right now. Find the joy and gratefulness within the day to day living. Let your children see that there are reasons to be happy even when there is a challenge. Allow them to witness you doing things that you love and the joy it brings you. Pay attention to both your actions and words as you teach them by example that this is a friendly and loving universe. Do this and they will know that happiness is an achievable result of the choices they make coupled with how they think.

You can read more in my book, It’s Your Life….Own It! available on Amazon

Finding Daily Inspiration

Never know who needs you  Christie Marie Sheldon

Have you thought about the correlation or the common link of the things that inspire you? Do you know why such things as quotes, videos or particular people make you feel like being a better person or trying harder to reach your dreams?  I believe that the things that inspire us are at a higher vibrational frequency than we are at that point in time.

We are beings of energy and all of us have a frequency that is normally where we function. If this is a new concept for you, think about different people that you come into regular contact with.  Is there someone you dread dealing with?  That person is operating at a lower frequency than you are.  The phrase “she’s a downer” could apply to such a person.  At the other side of the spectrum are people that always make us feel better when we are in their presence.  They bring us up.  Think of a time you saw a motivational speaker.  Immediately following that encounter you felt better, more energized and that feeling may have lasted hours or even days.  Your vibration raised because of the exposure to someone with a higher vibration.

Even though you have a normal frequency for you, that doesn’t mean you have to stay there.  You can do things each day that move you up.  You will recognize this is happening because you will feel better.  Although reading inspiring quotes or watching a positive video on social media can help, there is one thing that will make the biggest difference.  Surround yourself with people that make you feel better, happier, more alive.  If these types of people aren’t part of your daily life, than take the time to reach out and call someone who is. Hearing the upbeat tone in someone’s voice is much more effective than a text or an email because your brain picks up on the vibration they are emitting.

Another way to increase your vibration is to express gratitude.  Even when life is handing you lemons, there is something you can be grateful for……find it……and remind yourself of what is good in your life.  The people you love and what they mean to you is a great way to start.  For me, any time I’m feeling off or uncentered, I reach out to my youngest son.  We live on opposite sides of the country so our phone conversations are precious to me.  At 21, he is one of the happiest people, and best at manifesting, that I know.  When our daughter says that everything just comes easy to him, I have to point out that he follows his heart and focuses on his own happiness which pulls people and circumstances to him that are in alignment with how he is feeling.  Like attracts like.  A fact we tend to forget.

My third suggestion is to focus on lifting up someone else.  When we put our attention on helping another, we tend not to focus on our own issues so much.  We can be the person who raises another’s vibration.  So what will inspire you today?  Or will you provide inspiration to another?  It’s all about the choices that you make.  Decide well.

If you want to find other ways to increase your personal vibration, go to my website and sign up for the free newsletter.  christiebakeman.com

Why Dr. Wayne Dyer Inspired Me For Over 30 Years

Wayne Dyer nothing is impossible

I cried last August when I heard about Dr. Wayne Dyer’s death.  I was saddened not so much for myself but for the world as a whole.  We need people who are willing to honestly share of themselves to make a positive difference and to bring hope to this troubled planet.  A voice of reason, love and encouragement had left us.

The first time I encountered Wayne Dyer was shortly after Your Erroneous Zones was released.  He had just begun his speaking career and I was attending a conference by Alternatives In Motivation.  I had no idea that brief encounter would influence me throughout my adult life.  Let me me clear, the man couldn’t have picked me out of a crowd, still I felt a connection to his work.  I felt blessed to see him speak in Denver just four months prior to his death.  All the things I loved; his humor, common sense speak, gentleness, and openness still existed even after thirty years of being in the limelight.

Do you understand how difficult that may have been?  As I think about others I’ve met who have achieved great success, I am forced to observe the differences.  Arrogance, believing you are better and just plain rudeness don’t have to be byproducts of your achievements and Wayne proved that.  The wonder of this life and his openness resulted in his final book, Memories of Heaven, which examines our curiosity of where we came from the eyes of the newest among us.  I highly recommend this beautiful piece of work to anyone with children or grandchildren.

As a writer of non-fiction I find Dr. Wayne Dyer’s advice of writing from the soul, essential to staying focused.  I interpret this as writing from the highest vibration possible, what I call the true you, that indestructible energy that operates at the level that is part of all that is.  To recognize that all people are connected to a source energy and to appeal to that connection with words is something Wayne excelled at.  Even the stories of difficulties shared were meant to connect and then lift up those in the audience.

The fact is that no person lives without some challenges rising up and taking our attention away from what we desire.  How we label those events depends on both our beliefs and our attitude about life.  We can see them as opportunities for growth as Wayne did or we can see them as evidence of a cruel and unfair world.  The choice is yours.  For me, I choose to see the opportunity within the struggle, in part because I was introduced to a great teacher over three decades ago.

You can connect with me or see more of my work at christiebakeman.com  Please feel free to leave comments here or on my website.

A Great Memory Can Be a Detriment.

Let It Go Iyanla Vanzantchristiebakeman.com

I had an epiphany on Mother’s Day about myself and how much room I had for spiritual growth.  I’ve always been proud of my memory.  The fact it was good wasn’t just my opinion, co-workers quickly discovered I didn’t forget much.  It didn’t matter if the subject was dates, events or policies.  My mind connected enough dots to allow recall on demand.  The same is true regarding personal relationships, as I would recall conversations, feelings and behaviors.  This is especially true for those connected to a date or holiday.  Hence my soul searching adventure on Mother’s Day.

We were having dinner at my in-laws and I suppose the expression on my face was a bit melancholy.  “Why do you look like that?  You heard from both your boys and we both told you happy Mother’s Day this morning” says hubby.  Well that was all it took for me to recall in great detail the past few Mother’s Days and the inaccuracy of his statement.  Down the rabbit hole I went emotionally.  A few minutes later I felt the need to correct him as I pulled him aside and pointed out that my step-daughter has never wished me greetings on this day.  Not to mention her lack of acknowledgment of my birthday, which of course I did mention.

There lies the epiphany.  The quality of life isn’t about what others do or don’t do, it is about how we think about the situation.  Do we label it as a positive or a negative?  Any event is just that, an event.  It isn’t until we assign it a label within our mind that it produces any type of emotion.  I know this.  I write about it.  However there are times that I forget what I know and I react without objectivity and follow the river of my emotions.

Later, on the drive home, I found myself defending my step-daughter within my own mind.  I know she loves me from what she says and does during the course of daily life for the three years we’ve lived together.  Maybe she feels it would be disloyal to her own mother to demonstrate appreciation on a special day.  The fact that she would prefer to live with her mother and it isn’t possible weighs on her soul.  Where mothers day is special to me, it may be a torment within her.  These are things I must consider for both of our benefit.  Along with the fact that I know she wouldn’t intentionally hurt me.  Within a blended family there are wounds that are unseen, yet must be tended to.  As a parent, we must set the example and recognize what is important to our children to allow them to flourish.  That may mean seeing life from their point of view instead of our own.

Sometimes having a great memory prevents us from living in the present moment.  When we are thinking about what has happened in the past we aren’t focused on the here and now.  We miss the joy of the moment.  The fact is that all of us have painful memories, big or small doesn’t matter.  When we put our attention on those we prevent something different from manifesting in our lives.  Like attracts like.  Sometimes you just have to let things go.  Being grateful for what is currently in your life is a good start.  For me I need to be less proud of my memory and develop a pride for living in the moment.

Please feel free to comment on this or any other blog.  I’m interested in your opinions.