Black, White, Brown Lives Matter

the secret to change    Socrates

The law of vibration permeates everything. Ignorance about universal laws doesn’t mean they don’t govern our lives, it simply means we are unaware. When this is the case, we talk about coincidence or luck, failing to recognize we have pulled a circumstance or person into our life because it matched our vibration. Like attracts like and there is simply no avoiding that. The law of attraction works in conjunction with the law of vibration bringing us people, events and things that are at a similar frequency to the one we are operating at. This is as true for individuals as it is for groups.

When a group, or individuals of that group, publicly state that they want others to suffer, or that someone, different than they are, should be killed so they understand the pain the group has experienced…..I want to scream……What the hell are you doing? You cannot improve a situation by creating more of the same. I understand feeling hurt. I understand the pain of loss. I understand the frustration of wanting things to change. I also understand that many times we need to do something to defend ourselves against perceived wrongs. The manner that we do that, defines us as people and a society.

Every emotion that we feel comes from love or fear. Where contentment is closer to love, anger is closer to fear. Picture a horizontal line with fear on the left and love is on the right. You can plot every emotion on that line. You can also plot every thought, belief and action somewhere on that same line. The frequency that you normally vibrate at is somewhere between love and fear. Only you know where that is and only you can change it via your thoughts.

If you want to learn more about how to change your thoughts, my book It’s Your Life…Own It! provides practical techniques that you can start using today. Available in soft cover or ebook at author book site. Much love and light to all of you.

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Rather Lose My Job Than My Integrity

Integrity is doing the right thing C. S. Lewis

Have you ever had a job that you enjoyed so much, all others were compared to it?  Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I had the best job for me about twenty five years ago.  I was running a small company in Atlanta, wearing multiple hats on a daily basis.  The hours were crazy, the work full of variety and my team was full of creative individuals who were both a pain in the ass and inspiring.  I loved what I was doing!  I was having fun!  I was growing as an individual and a supervisor!  My team enjoyed their work and they kept improving and growing themselves.  Then it ended by my own hand.

I had to make the toughest career choice of my life.  It was heart wrenching because I really loved what I was doing.  Yet I knew, deep within my soul, that it was my only choice if I was going to be able to look at myself in the mirror.  Although I was the face of that company, the financial owners of that business were in another state.  When they asked me, actually directed me, to do something unlawful I was forced to make a choice.  I had to decide how important my integrity was.  Should I do what they wanted to keep my job?  I had two young children so the fear of losing my job put an incredible amount of stress on me.  How would we survive?  Then again, how would I survive if I went against all that I knew was right?

I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life however maintaining my level of integrity in that situation wasn’t one of them.  I resigned and walked away from a company I’d built up and enjoyed immensely.  I experienced months of depression caused by feeling like I had no sense of purpose.  With the help of friends I ended my self pity party and got on with life.

It may sound like a unique situation however people find themselves at the crossroads of integrity and going with the flow often.  Your boss asks you to do something that is at the very least, against your better judgment.  Your brother in law asks you to hang on to an illegal substance so your sister doesn’t find it.  Rather than answer a question honestly you believe it will cause less of a ruckus if you lie.  All may seem like relatively small, insignificant choices but I warn you they build on each other.

All of us want to be right.  When we commit an act or make a statement that we believe is wrong then we justify what we’ve done.  We decide it was the best choice and convince ourselves of that.  The next time a similar situation arises, it becomes easier to justify.  Pretty soon the personal line between right and wrong has become blurred to the point that we don’t remember where it is.  Thus we’ve given away little pieces of our integrity, not recognizing the effort it will take to recover that part of ourselves.

If you find that you feel guilt or self loathing over past decisions, please let it go.  Learn to forgive yourself for your poor judgement.  What’s past is past and there isn’t much you can do to change it unless there is some way to make amends with another person.  If that is the case, do what you need to.  However, you can make the choice to be true to yourself from this day forward.  Follow the path of what you know is right for you.  Think about your integrity and maintaining it at a level that you can live with….guilt free.  christiebakeman.com

Healing From Trauma – I Want My Mommy!

Last night I thought about my mother and how I wished she was part of what is going on in my life now.  It brought me to tears.  It’s been over ten years since she passed away and there are still times that I want my mommy.  I’m puzzled when this happens because we weren’t particularly close however she was the first person I bonded with.  Strong emotions for and about our mothers seem to be universal among the human race.

My thoughts drifted to the different circumstances that we experience that require some sort of healing.  Of course, some people don’t seem to heal but rather become enveloped by the trauma they experienced.  The traumatic event defines them.  They allow their feelings to keep them stuck in a place of remembering or continual reliving of a situation that they don’t desire to repeat.

I believe our inability to move on from a trauma involves forgiveness.  I’ve heard people say that they could never forgive the person who hurt them.  I think the truth is closer to not being able to forgive themselves.  We may need to forgive ourselves for allowing something to happen or at least not making an effort to stop it.  We use our self talk to criticize ourselves for our decisions and actions.  We blame ourselves when something undesirable happens to those we love.

Forgiving ourselves and healing is really about loving ourselves.  Most of us do the best we can at the time.  Maybe we should take that into consideration, allowing ourselves to move on from the pain and closer to full love and acceptance of who we are.

Healing means damage no longer controls

christiebakeman.com